


To Keep You

by TheMewsAtTen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Cursed Child - Thorne & Rowling
Genre: Angst and Fluff and Smut, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, Hair-pulling, Harry Potter Next Generation, M/M, Panic Attacks, Praise Kink, Self-Esteem Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2018-01-14
Packaged: 2018-12-12 12:19:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11736912
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheMewsAtTen/pseuds/TheMewsAtTen
Summary: Albus is suffering, Scorpius is suffering, no-one's communicating.Hogwarts seventh year, alternating POV.Obviously this world and these characters aren't mine - it's just a world I like to live in from time to time, I'm not making any money from it and no copyright infringement is intended.





	1. Albus

Albus Potter looked up from his book to where his best friend lay asleep, his head lolling awkwardly over the side of his bed. Scorpius was sleeping fitfully, his long legs splayed at odd angles to the rest of his body. Albus watched him thoughtfully, worrying his left thumb between his teeth all the while – a habit when he was anxious.

He was fascinated by how wired Scorp looked when he was asleep. He always managed to look coiled and never quite restful, a bit feline, and so vulnerable.

Albus felt tears prick his eyes. He was overwhelmed with affection for Scorp, and couldn’t really remember a time when he _hadn’t_ felt almost irrationally protective of him. From the first day of school, that first trip on the Hogwarts Express, they had seemed bound together, inseparable.

He had been captivated by Scorp's openness and goodness from the start. He was naturally anxious, but there was something innocent and laid bare in that anxiety when he was with Albus. Albus knew he got to see something others didn’t, because he saw how Scorp behaved when other people were around – on edge, like he needed to try on different versions of himself to find one that fit. But Albus knew that he knew the real Scorpius Malfoy. That he got to see the truth of him.

The weight of the Potter name felt lighter when he was with Scorp. He often thought it probably had something to do with the fact that his best friend wasn’t without the baggage of a famous surname himself – not to mention those stupid rumours that he was the son of Voldemort. Albus had nothing but contempt for anyone who could spend more than ten minutes in Scorp’s company and _not_ think those rumours were complete bollocks. Scorp was kind, bookish, full of a sense of wonder at the world around him. He was sensitive and deeply loyal and couldn’t bear to see suffering. He was good to his core, and Albus had always idolised him.

It was when all that stuff with the Time-Turner had happened in their fourth year that the ground had finally fallen away beneath Albus’ feet, the stark reality of the way he had come to feel about Scorp slapping him in the face suddenly, in a frenzy, at possibly the least convenient moment, and without any warning.

He remembered with terrifying clarity the way Scorp had looked straight into his eyes. He remembered it all perfectly, as if he was looking into a Pensive every time - _“if I had to choose a companion to be at the return of eternal darkness with, I’d choose you”_ , Scorp had said.

In that moment, Albus had felt something rising in his chest, something new and frantic. He didn’t know what it was, what form it would take when it spilled out of his mouth like he knew it was about to. He really hadn’t known whether he was about to declare his love or throw up. He’d felt like he was cracking open at the heart, about to tell Scorp everything he was suddenly feeling.

In a flash, Albus had realised two things that day. The first, that he was bat-shit crazy in love with Scorpius Malfoy. That he was in love with his _best friend_. The second, that he could never, ever let him know, or he would lose him forever. And Albus would rather fight off an army of Hungarian Horntails with a knitting needle than try to live without Scorp.

So that was that, and Albus had fallen back on the same thing they always fell back on – jokes. _“No offence, but I’d choose someone massive and really good at magic”_ , he’d quipped back. It had frozen something inside him to be so flippant and dismissive. But he knew that was the price of Scorp staying in his life. He would pay it; he knew he would keep paying it all his life if he had to. And they had got on with fixing the almighty mess they’d created with that bloody Time-Turner.

Afterwards, as he started to try to come to terms with his feelings, Albus reasoned he must be gay. He’d certainly never felt attracted to girls, anyway. He had liked some of them, had been impressed by them and enjoyed their company, but had never truly felt _attracted_ to any of them. Not like he did to Scorp.

No. Nothing like that.

But, really, as time went on, it became more and more painfully obvious that it wasn’t so much other guys he was attracted to as _Scorpius_. He had had a few ill-judged, one-off fumbles over the years, to try to distract himself, especially when, eventually, he had had to sit back and watch while Scorp dated (or tried to). The fact was, being touched like that by anyone else just left him feeling nothing. He could have done it, and did do it occasionally, but there was no real point to any of it, because the best it ever did was to numb him for a while.

Now they were coming up to the end of their seventh and final year of school. They had both recently turned 18, and Albus was relieved that people, even Scorp, had never made much fuss about his never having dated so far. There had been the odd jibe here and there, but if anyone thought it was seriously odd, no-one said it to him. He could only hope that would always be the case, though he suspected his luck would run out at some point soon. Leaving school, starting out on a new part of his life, he had been asking himself some really big questions over the last few months. He supposed it was inevitable that other people might start to expect answers from him, too. He had come to accept that his feelings meant he may always be alone, but he wasn't sure he was ready for the well-meaning interferences and pity of other people.

Still, he’d need to deal with that when it happened. Merlin knew he had enough to worry about right now.

In fact, Albus had rarely felt so tense and overwrought. He knew he had been short-tempered recently. He and Scorp had been bickering with each other a lot, and not in the way they always had. They weren’t the usual squabbles, but shouting, door-slamming arguments, often over trivial things, followed by sulky silences that would stretch out, sometimes for days.

As the years had passed, Albus had developed a habit of just watching Scorp _being,_ in silence, when he knew he could get away with it, without anyone (particularly Scorp) asking too many questions. He especially loved to watch him sleep, the way he was watching him right now.

Scorp was funny when he was asleep. But Merlin he was absolutely fucking gorgeous too, and Albus could just drink in the sight of his pink and full lips, his messy white-blonde bed hair, the way his t-shirts always seemed to roll up tantalisingly over his flat, pale stomach.

It did feel wrong sometimes, a bit creepy to stare at his best friend when he was oblivious, imagining all the sinful, obscene ways he’d like to lavish his love over every inch of his body, putting the images aside for when he was alone. It made him ashamed, but Albus felt like it kept him sane too. It kept the truth safe inside him, like a stone he had to carry in his stomach every day. Indulging in these fantasies just lightened the load for a while. It was a way of _not_ ruining both their lives.

So he kept hiding it, kept telling himself that he was sparing Scorp by carrying this alone; kept telling himself that it would all be fine as long as he was being discrete about it. He could keep Scorp in his life this way. And he needed him in his life.

But despite it all, he was starting to feel a chasm opening up between him and his best friend, and it terrified him. It terrified him to the point where he would shake with tears when he was alone, where he had bitten his thumbnail down to the quick so many times he didn’t feel the pain anymore.

He didn’t really know whether it was just the stress of final year that had caused the imperceptible, indescribable change between them, but he knew he would do anything to mend it, to get Scorp back. The situation had begun to feel like glass; so delicate, like if he mishandled it in any way, if he tripped up, it would be broken beyond hope of repair.

And then this morning – oh God, when he thought of this morning.

Albus braced himself as he replayed it in his mind for what felt like the millionth time, hoping that, this time, he could make some kind of sense out of it.

Albus had walked into the bathroom just as Scorp had got out of the shower – that much had been obvious when he had been confronted with the naked body of his best friend. Scorp had had his back to Albus. His face buried in a towel, he clearly hadn’t seen or heard him come in.

And Albus had stood in the doorway, transfixed, his heart thumping in his throat.

 _You’ve got this, Albus,_ he had said to himself. _Look away now, look away. This isn’t new. Same dormitory for over six years, you’ve seen his body before. This. Isn’t. New._

But, God help him, he was rooted to the spot, as if he was seeing Scorp for the first time. His eyes had travelled down that glorious body, hypnotised by his finely sculpted, alabaster pale back, his perfect round buttocks and long, strong legs, his platinum blond hair dripping water down over his nakedness. God he’d become so desperately beautiful he shone. It hurt Albus to look at him, but looking away felt impossible.

Scorp had always been slightly taller than Albus; gangly even, for a while. But as he stood there in that bathroom, Albus’ heart broke to see how his best friend had grown into such a captivating man. Still slender, admittedly, but where there had been bare skin and bone there were now harder lines, angles, and knots of spare but defined muscle.

The racing of his heartbeat, the blush in his cheeks and the twitch in his cock betrayed Albus’ lust. But there was something more. Albus felt like his love for Scorp was consuming him, burning him up, as if the adoration he felt might punch through his skin at any moment. He had been resisting Scorp for three years, holding that fire inside himself in the name of saving their friendship, but he was sure if he hadn’t been so rooted to the spot he would have been unable to stop himself from crossing the room and . . .

He still wasn’t sure how long he must have been standing there, frozen, staring. Scorp had just been drying his face, so it couldn’t have been long. But he did know that in the time it took him to steady himself, Scorp had turned around and was looking right at him, watching him from across the room as he stared. And for what felt like minutes, they had just stood, looking at each other, Albus feeling his whole body blushing, Scorp standing there, bare and glowing like an angel, looking . . . defeated.

Scorp had been crying.

Albus would know it from far further away than they were from each other right now; would always know when he had been crying just by looking at him. He had seen Scorp cry many times in the months after his mother had died, and there were tears in his eyes now as he stood there naked in front of Albus, a look on his face that was all exhaustion and emptiness. His whole expression was desolate, a heartbreaking contrast to the strength of his body. But as he looked into Albus’ eyes, something unspoken and heavy seemed to pass between them, as if Scorp was asking Albus for something. As if he needed him, needed _something_.

"Albie . . ." he whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut against the tears.

The sound of Scorp's nickname for him broke Albus' heart and made him want to devour him all at once.

Albus knew that one of two things was going to happen in that moment. If he didn’t turn and walk away, he would go to Scorp and try to hold him, touch him, kiss him, try to find out what or who had made him cry that way and make it right, even if he had to destroy the world with his own hands to do it. And then Scorp would know he loved him, know how he wanted him, and it would all be over.

So Albus had turned, and he had run away.

Neither of them had mentioned it all day, but it felt like they had silently agreed to avoid each other. And when Scorp had come back to the dormitory this afternoon, he had just thrown himself onto his bed, laying there in silence before nodding off.

Albus agonised over whether he should clear the air with Scorp about what had happened, wishing he didn’t have to, while being forced to accept that if he didn’t, this could be the thing that would force them apart for good - if it hadn't already.

And how the hell would he explain what he had been doing, anyway? How do you explain away being caught gawping at your best mate’s arse, then looking mournfully into his tear-stained face before fucking off and leaving him when he was obviously upset? What had he been thinking just standing there eye-fucking him?! What a stupid thing to do, to get caught like that, after three years of being so, so careful. And what had made Scorp look so completely devastated? Catching Albus looking at him like that? Possibly. He couldn't bear the idea that he had hurt him. What a mess.

Albus rubbed at his eyes, letting out a groan of frustrated despair, before looking up to see that Scorp had woken and was looking at him again, silently, with those same, fathomless eyes.


	2. Scorpius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> That bathroom incident and the dormitory from the first chapter, from Scorpius' perspective.

_“I need you so much, God, I love you, Albie.”_

Scorpius wasn’t even sure whether he was saying it out loud or just thinking it any more. He was sure that the way he was abandoning himself so fully to these fantasies was getting risky. Far too risky.

Once again he had found himself in the shower, wanking off to the most graphic, vivid mental images of his best friend rutting with him against walls, sucking him off under tables . . . the scenarios had multiplied and seemed to have become ever more elaborate over the last few months.

Scorpius felt eaten alive with guilt, and every time he gave in to this, he told himself it would be the last time. Definitely the last time, this time. But the pleasure, the relief, the release of giving in all numbed the stinging shame, and once again here he was.

Scorpius’ rhythm sped up, and he felt his balls tighten familiarly as the image in his head sharpened and brightened. Albus there with him, holding him in strong arms, dipping his head to kiss and bite Scorpius’ neck and shoulders, wanking him off expertly, perfectly as he rambled praise into his ear – _Fuck Scorp, you’re so hard. Will you come for me? I love you so much, you’re so good, so good, I can feel how close you are, come for me, Scorp . . ._

Scorpius shuddered with the force of his orgasm, the knuckles of his free hand whitening as he pressed his fist to the wall, then opened his hand, pressing his palm and forehead against it to hold himself up, letting out a groan and coming hard in juddering spurts.

This had been Scorpius’ deepest, darkest secret since fourth year and, three years later, he was more at its mercy than ever. He would hold off for as long as possible, but eventually all the bone-deep want for Albus would just become too much, and Scorpius would find himself going from being distracted to being completely unable to focus on anything but Albus and the fierce love he felt for him, the only way back to some kind of normality to surrender to the control these fantasies now had on him.

As he finished up in the shower, hot tears fell down his face, mixing with the warm spray. He always cried afterwards. He came so hard when he pictured Albus like that, but the shame and despair that followed were inescapable, and they left him feeling paralysed.

Dreaming of Albus’ devastatingly sensual kisses and touch scared him quite enough. But it was the way the _words_ turned him on that really frightened Scorpius. It was when the Albus in his mind started praising him, telling him he _loved_ him, that Scorpius would always pass the point of no return.

It had been fourth year that did it, that made Scorpius realise, with a panic of new proportions even for him, that he was in love with Albus Potter.

He didn’t think he would ever get over the trauma of finding himself in a dark alternative reality where Albus didn’t exist. He still had nightmares about it, would sometimes wake in the night and would have to peek in on Albus as he slept just to reassure his body enough for it to let him drift off to sleep again. And, when he checked on him, he tried not to wait too long just watching him sleep. Merlin, he tried.

Even if, on the face of it, it seemed like everything had turned out more or less fine in the end, Scorpius alone knew that what happened with the Time-Turner in fourth year had changed his life in a way that couldn’t be undone. Because it was being in that reality, without his Albus, that had made him realise that what he felt was a blood-pumping, physical passion that went beyond the way best friends felt about each other. His heart and soul and body had _all_ missed Albus. He loved him, and he was _in_ love with him. And if he told him, it would all be gone. All of it, gone, and Scorpius would have nothing but his memories, and these darker parts of his mind, to keep him alive.

After it had all blown over, he’d played up his ‘pursuit’ of Rose Weasley for a while, and made a show of basking in Polly Chapman’s attention, mainly out of frustration. Frustration at how hopeless everything was. Frustration at how he could burn for Albus until he was ash but it wouldn’t make a bit of difference. And frustration at how little Albus seemed to care that he did any of it.

So his flirtations had been perfunctory and unremarkable, every one reinforcing what Scorpius already knew – that the way he wanted Albus was world-ending, and no-one else would ever touch him where Albus could.

The ache went right to Scorpius’ core when he lay awake at night. His habit of afternoon napping had admittedly become useful for those occasions when he was trying to avoid Albus for some reason, either because they’d had one of their ever more frequent arguments or simply because Scorpius was once again beginning to feel so despairing that even being in the same room as Albus was becoming painful.

But it usually also meant that he lay awake for hours at night when it felt like the rest of the world had fallen into a still, quiet slumber. He would lay on his back with his head turned in the direction of Albus’ bed, and he would lay awake like that for hours. He missed Albus when he slept. He missed the brightness of his huge smile that lit up everything and everyone around him. He missed the intensity of those green eyes whose gaze made his skin prickle.

It hurt so much to admit it, but these days he felt like he missed Albus when they were both awake, too. He felt a sickening weight when Albus was around, but being away from him didn’t help either, because then it was the feeling of something missing; the feeling of incompletion and lack. He tried not to let the despair show, and had learned to act like he wasn’t dying inside.

He had learned that there was safety in pretending; that there was safety in concealing the truth.

When all was said and done he had his best friend, and that was like air to him. Albus had never shown much interest in dating anyone, but Scorpius recalled the way he had had to swallow the bitter jealousy he felt on the odd occasions when Albus had got off with someone. He felt sick at the idea of someone else kissing Albus. Touching him. God, just imagining it _burned_ him. But it was better than imagining him falling in love. Scorpius didn’t know how he would cope when _that_ finally happened, and couldn’t bear even to prepare himself for it. It would happen, surely. Albus was so easy to fall in love with. Scorpius had done it without even noticing.

After a minute or two, Scorpius summoned up enough energy to get out of the shower, covering his face with a towel to try to stem the flow of tears. _Calm,_ he thought. _You have to be calm now._

But as he stood completely naked, feeling vulnerable and ashamed and pathetic, he thought about how distant Albus seemed to be lately. He thought about eventually losing him to the end of school, or to some accidental declaration of his love, about having to lock away a part of himself that could never be known, and the tears returned, falling silently, and with them the bleakness that was becoming normal to him crept forward like a spill of black ink.

As he stood there, Scorpius suddenly felt he wasn’t alone in the bathroom. He turned to see Albus standing there, looking right at him. His eyes were darker somehow, his stare so intense it could almost be frightening.

 _You will break me,_ thought Scorpius. _You will break me, and I will still come back for more._

Scorpius’ need, the ravenous need that he kept in such careful check, screamed so loud in his mind that he thought he would wail out loud in despair. _Please come to me, Albus. Cross the room. Come here and hold me and tell me it’s going to be OK. Make it feel like it’s just you and me, the only two people in the world._

“Albie . . .” he managed to breathe out weakly, shutting his eyes, willing the tears away.

As Albus turned and bolted from the room, sobs wracked Scorpius’ body.

Scorpius got dressed and decided to spend as much of the day as he could in a quiet corner of the library, where he had the best chance of being able to think. But even the serenity and escape he usually found in books had petered out, his mind unyielding in its obsession with Albus, and with what had happened that morning.

Had Albus known what Scorpius was doing? Could he see it written on his face or, worse still, had he seen him in the shower, had he heard anything? He couldn’t be sure how long he had been there, and why else would he have been standing in that doorway looking like a thunderstorm? Scorpius knew he’d been getting sloppy; he knew that some of the words that should have been kept in his head – Albus’ name, Scorpius’ begging - had been creeping out from between his slack, desperate lips in the heat of the moment lately. Merlin, all the arguments, the tension in the atmosphere between them, and now this.

Scorpius inhaled deeply, then exhaled slowly. _Calm. Calm. Calm,_ he reminded himself. That was what Albus always said; his mantra when Scorpius was anxious or panicking.

His Albus. He had to talk to him. He didn’t know what he was going to say, or even how to start, but his heart told him that he was losing him and he couldn’t live if he let that happen. He wasn’t sure he’d want do. He would make something up, something plausible, make it right.

As he burst ungracefully through the dormitory door and saw Albus sitting on his bed reading, Scorpius lost every bit of the nerve he’d worked up on the walk back. He opened his mouth to say something, but when the words wouldn’t come he threw himself onto his bed, exhausted with emotion.

He must have fallen asleep because the next thing Scorpius knew he had woken with a start, splayed out on his bed, and had opened his eyes to see Albus looking towards him, obviously lost in a daydream. Albus rubbed his face and let out a groan, before his big green eyes slowly refocused and looked straight into Scorpius’, no longer daydreaming but _seeing_.

He looked devastated. Shattered. And in the look that passed between them, Scorpius felt all of the fight leave him. After three years of surviving and hiding and pretending, he felt his heart break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next chapter will involve this pair of clueless darlings actually talking to each other. At long last.


	3. Albus

As they sat there, their gazes locked, Albus felt like time had run out. For what, he couldn’t quite tell.

Looking into Scorp’s eyes, seeing how broken he looked, he knew that this was the chance he had to make this right. For Scorp. For himself. This had to come out right. Their friendship had to survive this. He couldn’t consider what would happen if it didn’t. He _wouldn’t_ consider it.

“Scorp . . . I’m sorry,” he started. _Merlin, that’s pathetic_ , he thought to himself. _Fucking hell, Potter, ‘I’m sorry’?!_

“You’re _sorry_? What are _you_ sorry for?” asked Scorp, sitting up on his bed.

 _For leaving you. For being weak when you needed me to be strong. For being in love with you and for letting that love make me selfish and careless,_ he thought bitterly.

“I’ve been behaving . . . well . . . look, I know I’ve been weird lately. Distant, I mean. I’ve been taking it out on you. I mean, I haven’t meant to,” he added quickly, “but it’s worked out that way and I hate myself for that, and . . . anyway, I want you to know that I’m sorry. I don’t want to fight with you anymore, I want us . . . to be OK again. I want to be there for you, to . . . to take care of you if you need me. Look Scorp, I can’t explain everything, not properly, and I’m asking you not to ask me to, to trust me, but I want you to know that I’m sorry, and I’m back, I’m here now, I’m back, and this morning . . .” Albus trailed off, exasperated.

_What about this morning? How do we even find words for . . . whatever that was?_

Scorp sighed, resting his elbows on his knees and holding his head in his hands.

“Albie, do you know that I’m in love with you?”

He had asked the question so simply, so calmly, looking down at his feet as if he had been asking a question about homework or asking Albus to pass the sugar bowl at breakfast.

It took Albus a moment to realise he’d heard right.

“W – what?” Albus managed to stammer out.

He sat, dazed, and stared at Scorp. He was even more deathly pale than usual, and looked completely trashed, and when his calm façade gave way to sobs that shook his whole body, Albus didn’t even think before he pulled him to him, holding him tight, his hand resting on the side of his head.

Scorp rambled brokenly as Albus held his trembling frame.

“I'm so in love with you, Albie,” he wept. “I'm so in love with you. I love you so much it hurts me right here,” Scorp thumped his chest, “I've tried so hard with everything in me not to feel this. To stop, to protect us both, so we can stay friends, so I won’t . . . lose you. I know that I’ve pushed you away and I’ve picked fights and been cold to you. I’ve tried it all, but I can't stop. I’ve tried to pretend I don’t _hate_ everyone who has ever kissed you or touched you like I want to because it should be _me_ touching you, _me_ kissing you. I can’t . . . I can’t _be_ with anyone else, it doesn’t work, it feels . . . fucked up. I think about you all the time, even . . . well, even when I shouldn’t. I even . . . oh God, I even imagine us together when I . . . when I . . . I say your name and imagine you kissing me, touching me. I thought maybe, that you knew, you’d heard . . . that you knew I’d been doing that when you ran this morning. But I guess you couldn’t have known, could you? You wouldn’t be here apologising to me for nothing if you’d known what a perverted creep I am. But Albie, this, this thing, it's like something I couldn't even carve out of myself with a knife if I tried!” he was raising his voice now. “It's so part of me. And I know this changes things, changes everything, that you'll be freaked out, you may even hate me or not trust me anymore or even want to see me again. I was never going to tell, never ever. I’ve seen my life without you and it’s cold and brutal. But this, the way I feel, I just couldn't carry it around anymore. I’ve been doing it for three years, and it’s just got too heavy, Albie. I'm sorry.”

Before Albus could open his mouth to respond, Scorp had got up and was racing out of the door.

Albus sat in stunned silence, his mouth hanging open, his body refusing to move except to shake with the shock of what had just happened.

_He loves me._

Albus had never known euphoria like this. Within a few seconds of Scorp running out on him, he was laughing hysterically, and had to take a few minutes to convince himself it had all just happened, then a few more still for his legs to start working again before he could get up to go and look for him. Though in the mood he was in he would gladly have crawled the castle on his hands and knees to see Scorp to tell him he loved him too, Albus thought that on foot might be a better look. _He loves me and I love him and we didn’t know and were both just scared of losing each other._

Albus couldn’t bear the idea of Scorp thinking he didn’t love him back for one more minute. He tried to think clearly about where he might have gone. He wouldn’t have wanted to risk anyone seeing him, Albus was sure of that. Scorp wasn’t great with social situations at the best of times, and he’d been a state when he left the dormitory. No. He would need quiet, no people, no voices.

 _Need_ , thought Albus.

 _The Room of Requirement_.


	4. Scorpius

“Three years, huh?” Albus asked.

Scorpius had been sitting against a wall in the Room of Requirement, his head thrown back, when he had heard Albus come in. At least he’d finished sobbing. By the time he’d found the place he’d had very little left in him.

 _I’m not ready for this,_ he thought. _Not the talk about how he’s flattered and it’s not me, it’s him, and maybe some time apart . . . Not yet._

If he’d had any energy left, Scorpius would have got up and left again, but he felt half dead and there was no fight left in him.

“Albie . . . _Albus_ ” Scorpius corrected himself “I shouldn’t have lost my head like that, and I, you don’t need to tell me . . .”

“First of all, don’t call me Albus” he interrupted, “call me Albie, like you always have. Second, Scorp, if you love me then do me a favour. Shut the fuck up and listen to me for a minute, yeah? You had your turn, now it’s mine.”

Scorpius said nothing; didn’t move a muscle as Albus spoke.

 _Oh God, here it comes,_ he thought, steeling himself.

“Six years, Scorp,” said Albus through gritted teeth. “Six years of being your friend, your _best_ friend, with everything we've been through together, and _that's_ what you think of me?! That I’d _hate_ you for this? That I wouldn't want to see you again? That I would ever want to . . . that I would ever want to be without you? I love you too, you total idiot!” Albus shouted, “if you knew how much it would probably freak _you_ out. You are absolutely it for me. And I thought I would never get to tell you this because I was scared just like you were so for both our sakes you’re going to stay there and you’re going to hear me out, OK Scorp? I love that you call me Albie when no-one else does. And I love that you’re so clever, so fucking brilliant, so excited all the time and I love seeing you with your hair all over the place in the morning and the way you’re such a messy sleeper, I mean how do you even manage to sleep like that?! And I love your face and your beautiful wrists and your skin, God your skin, and the way you bite on your lower lip when you’re worrying and the way your leg always bounces up and down when you’re thinking. And I love your fucking gorgeous eyes and I love that you fantasise about me and that you show yourself to me, your truth. I love you. And I love that _you_ love _me_ , and if you ever suggest I would leave you ever again, I'll . . .”

Scorpius stood up, clearing the space between him and Albus in three paces, and whatever was about to come out of Albus’ mouth was cut off by a breathtaking, greedy kiss as Scorpius backed him up against the wall.

 _I’m going to die of happiness,_ thought Scorpius. _This is how I die. Like this._

“I . . . love . . . you.” Albus hissed between kisses, as Scorpius moved to kiss his neck, to flick his tongue over his collarbone, shocked at the keening sound that emerged from his own throat in response to hearing Albus say those words.

“You realise what this means?” asked Albus, “it means we’ve both been pining and wanking ourselves senseless over each other for three years. We’re morons, Scorp.”

Albus silenced Scorpius’ laugh with another deep, open-mouthed kiss, before pulling away, his fingers tracing the line of his cheekbone.

“OK, here’s what we’re going to do. There’s no-one around and we can go back to the dormitory, put a locking charm on the door and sit down and we can talk about this where it’s comfortable and peaceful. You a bit calmer now?” asked Albus quietly, brushing his thumbs over Scorpius’ cheekbones as he spoke.

“Yeah” Scorpius answered scratchily.

“Good’” said Albus thickly, “because I’m interested in finding out what you’ve been imagining me doing to you to make you say my name . . .”

“Oh shut it!” Scorp yelped, blushing, making to push Albus away, but instead surrendering to the strong hands that gripped his wrists and the hungry kiss that swallowed their laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Albus and Scorpius will, ahem, compare notes on their fantasies in the next chapter.


	5. Albus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Albus calms Scorp down and has what turns out to be a very good idea . . .
> 
> Sorry for my formatting which is a mess, and red alert for fluffiness (but the boys are in love so, you know, deal with it).

“I . . am so happy,” Albus sighed deeply as he sat propped against his pillows, his head on Scorp’s shoulder. Scorp was lying between his legs, his back flush against Albus’ chest.   
 ****

In six years of knowing him, Albus had learned ways to help Scorp ride out the anxiety and panic attacks that blindsided him sometimes, but this new technique was decidedly more . . . intimate. 

Albus’ right hand rested on Scorp’s chest, and he could feel the heat of his body through the thin material of his t-shirt. The fingertips of his other hand brushed absentmindedly through the strands of his white blonde hair. 

Scorp hummed and nuzzled into his touch, making the position feel erotic and full of anticipation. They were still dressed in their trousers and t-shirts, and even though Albus was almost painfully turned on, he loved the way being with Scorp like this could feel so sexy despite their clothes, and couldn’t help imagining how much more mind-blowing it would be to be naked with him. He was sure Scorp must be able to feel the way his heart was pounding, not to mention the growing hardness at his crotch.

When they had left the Room of Requirement and got back to the dormitory, locking the door behind them, they had fallen against it in a tangle of arms and legs and hot, wet kisses, and Albus knew they were about to collapse completely under the weight of three years of longing if they didn’t slow things down. 

“We . . . have to . . . talk . . . about this,” Albus had managed to moan between their ravenous kisses. 

He had walked away and sat down on his bed, Scorp still standing there, that glorious blush in his cheeks, his chest heaving, his arms at his sides and his fists clenched, as if he were physically struggling with the distance between them.

“Will you sit here with me?” Albus had asked softly, trying hard not to sound too much like he was begging. 

Scorp had come over to the bed, sitting as far away from Albus as possible before Albus had pulled him into his arms.

“I would still prefer to hold you while we talk,” Albus had admitted thickly.

That was all he had needed to say, apparently. Scorp had moved into Albus’ arms and he hadn't left them since.

They had been lying like this for about an hour, talking, then sitting and breathing together in silence, then talking again, but Albus could still feel Scorp’s anxiety, his disbelief thrumming from his head to his feet. 

Scorp was easily the most anxious person he'd ever met. Albus had wanted to make love to him when they had walked through that door. He had _wanted_ so badly. But he wanted to reassure him too, to make him purely happy. Besides, he didn’t really know exactly how far Scorp had gone with anyone else - he had deliberately tried to block out the more graphic details of Scorp’s dating record over the years - and Albus’ own sexual forays had been unsentimental. Cold, even. Intended to block out the pain of not having who he really wanted. So he planned to memorise it all with Scorp; every kiss that left him breathless and every touch that made him moan for more. 

Albus wanted these new moments, these firsts, to go slowly; to go right, for both of them. He wanted to savour those touches and the kisses, and the words and feelings too. When they finally lay naked in each other's arms, sweaty and sated, today or next week or in a year, he wanted it to be because Scorp understood how much Albus loved him, because he understood how, for Albus, on this day, everything he wanted in the world had arrived, had become real and solid beneath his fingers. 

They had waited this long. Albus wanted it to be slow. Even if it felt like exquisite torture, he still wanted to stop time, to focus everything down to _now._

“How are you feeling?” Albus asked after a while.

“Amazing. Complete. Scared.” Scorp answered, Albus’ hand on his chest rising and falling with every breath he took. In and out. In and out.

“What's scaring you?” Albus asked.

“Nothing . . . nothing, really, just silly stuff.”

“Tell me. Talk to me, Scorp.”

“This is too perfect, isn't it? Too good. It can't be this perfect. And our families. I mean, I'm guessing yours know you’re into guys, but when they find out about us? And as for my father. He has no idea I’m . . . well, I'm not sure _what_ I am. I’ve never thought to put a name on it, really. I’m into _you._ ”

“They might be really happy - even your dad,” offered Albus.

Scorp snorted quietly.

“Just hear me out, OK? I mean, he might be surprised, but, I dunno Scorp, I've met your dad and I think he would be big enough to be happy that you're happy. He’s far from perfect but it's bloody obvious he loves you more than anything. And as far as what my parents know goes, well, I'm not sure. Lily definitely knows - the few times I, with guys, well, word gets around here, doesn't it?” Albus couldn't miss the sudden tension in Scorp’s shoulders when he mentioned his encounters with other boys. “And I think James knew, too. But I really don't think it's something they'd have let on to mum and dad. And I don't care, anyway. They can explode with anger if they want. I couldn't care less, because I love you. You and I have got through six years of shit together. We're getting through this together, too. And it _is_ perfect. It's perfect because we fit. We know each other. I can't bear the thought that the way you felt was making you miserable. I hate that I made you feel that way. Don’t ever let me make you feel that way again,” growled Albus.

“Albie, the way they all react, good or bad, it’s not going to _stop_ me. It won't stop this. I don’t think it _could_ stop this. I’m just . . . scared, that's all. I think I'm more of a coward than you realise . . .” said Scorp sadly.

“You told me you love me today. You were scared, you said so, but you did it and you saved us both. You saved _me_. That was the bravest thing I've ever seen. I know what it cost you to say it out loud. I know only too well,” said Albus, touching a kiss to Scorp’s temple.

“I'm still so scared of losing you, Albie. I still can't believe I told you. It was like . . . it was bloody madness. It never occurred to me to think that you might feel the same way, I just felt, I don’t know, reckless. It felt so completely impossible. I'm afraid to fall asleep in case I wake up and this has all been a dream . . .”

Albus could feel Scorp’s pulse beginning to race again.

“Not a dream,” mumbled Albus, his voice muffled as he buried his face in Scorp’s hair, drawing in greedy drags of his scent. 

“Um, are you _smelling my hair_?!” 

“Shut up. It’s lovely and I love it and I've resisted it for ages and you're mine and I'm smelling it now if I want to,” Albus protested, Scorp’s quiet laughter rumbling into his chest as he spoke.

“Albie?”

“Yeah?”

“What the hell happened between us in the bathroom this morning?”

Albus sighed. “I didn't know you were in there. I wasn't creeping if that's what you think. Well, not intentionally. I came in and there you were. I couldn’t take my eyes off you, you were so stunning. It’s why I ran, even when you turned around and I saw the way you looked. I'd never seen you look so . . .  lost. I’ll never forgive myself for that, Scorp, for running away and not coming to you. But I thought that if I stayed, I’d never be able to stop myself telling you everything, and you wouldn’t . . . you wouldn’t want me around you at all anymore. I’d lose you,” Albus’ voice began to break.

Scorp brought his hand up to cover Albus’ on his chest, entwining their fingers. "“When I turned around and looked at you, I thought I was about to ruin everything. I came so close to telling you then - I felt like something was pulling it out of me, out of my chest and my throat. I’ve never felt anything like that before. I couldn’t breath I needed you so much. It's like I said, I thought maybe you knew what I’d been doing and you hated me. That you’d heard me or seen me. I felt so broken, so ashamed but I still wanted you,” Scorp replied, his voice suddenly hoarse.

“Ah yes, what you'd been _doing,_ I was hoping you'd bring that up . _. .”_ Albus said coyly, a wry smile lifting his eyes as he dropped his head to trail kisses over Scorp’s neck.

“Albus Potter, I will die of embarrassment if you make me say it. You will kill me with embarrassment, Albie, please understand that,” begged Scorp as Albus chuckled into the pale skin of his throat.

“OK, OK. Seriously, Scorp, I do _not_ get where this shame thing in you comes from. For someone so ridiculously hot you do shame brilliantly. If it's any consolation I fucking love that you've been wanking over me. I love it. Merlin knows you’re all I think about when _I'm_ wanking.”

Scorp fidgeted nervously in Albus’ arms, that now so familiar blush creeping up his face, his hardness very, very obvious. 

“I just . . . I don't know, yeah, maybe you have a point,” Scorp said, clearing his throat. “After all, the idea of you doing . . . _that_ while thinking about me doesn't bother me at all. I bloody _love_ it, to be honest. But I feel guilty about doing it, without you knowing. I think . . . I just . . . I don't deserve you, Albie.”

“I’m going to show you that's bollocks, Scorp. And as for me not knowing, I know now. And I am happy to officially confirm that I am over-fucking-joyed,” Albus whispered, nibbling Scorp’s earlobe.

“Are you sure you don't think I'm a total pervert?” asked Scorp.

Albus felt an idea forming. A risky idea. An idea that _could_ put Scorpius right back on edge again. But if the way he had been kissing and touching him earlier was anything to go by, Albus was willing to bet this idea would be one of his better ones.

_Here goes_ , he thought.

“Would you like to know what I think about when I think about us . . . together?” he asked huskily.

Albus felt Scorp’s heartbeat speeding up under his hand. He was all heat and blush and arousal. It was so satisfying Albus could barely keep from ripping his clothes off. _A good start_ , he thought.

“If you want to tell me,” Scorp answered, his attempt to sound casual clumsy and obvious.

“Uh-huh,” said Albus, moving aside suddenly so that Scorp was lying flat on his back on the bed. When he spread his legs to let Albus slot himself between his thighs, Albus lay on top of him, feeling woozy with desire. 

_I’m lying on top of Scorpius Malfoy. Between his legs. On my bed,_ he thought. _Merlin, this is happening._

He lifted Scorp’s chin, lavishing toothy kisses on his neck, and was rewarded with an obscene gasp. “I get hard thinking about doing this,” Albus whispered as he ran his tongue over Scorp’s Adam’s apple, “I love that part of you so much”, he breathed, kissing it. “I think about doing this”, he said, as he trapped his bottom lip lightly between his teeth. Scorp had begun to make the most delicious whimpering noises, and he threw his head back and closed his eyes compliantly when Albus reached down for his wrists, lifting them to rest on the pillow above his head while kissing down to his collarbone, nosing the neckline of his t-shirt aside. “I got hard in a Potions class the other week just thinking about having your legs wrapped around me, your lovely long fingers wrapped around my cock . . . and you were sitting right there, right next to me . . .”

Albus felt Scorp getting harder beneath him, felt him tremble as he spoke. He ground his own hardness against his, rolling his hips rhythmically as he whispered to him.

“I think about these lips,” he went on, releasing one of Scorp’s wrists and running a hand down his bare arm, stopping to graze his thumb over his mouth slowly. “Your lips make me feel weak, they just . . . cry out to be kissed and bitten, and when I think about your lovely, sweet mouth taking my cock . . . God, I’ve got off so many times thinking about that, about you sucking me, licking me, and I tell you I'm going to come and you just keep going, looking up at me with those fucking gorgeous eyes when I come in your mouth . . .”

“Albie . . .” whined Scorp, half begging, half warning.

Albus grinned, deepening the grinding of his hips. “And then I stroke your cheek just like this, and I tell you you're so good for taking my cock in your mouth like that, that you're so good at it . . .”

“Oh fuck, Albie!” cried Scorp as he went rigid beneath Albus, blushing a stunning deep pink, his head thrown back in pleasure.

 Albus hummed in delight as Scorp came beneath him. _That was a good hunch_ , he thought. _A very good hunch_. 

Still panting and flushed, Scorp covered his face with his hands. “Merlin, I thought I understood humiliation by now but this . . . I mean, how, how the fuck could you know . . .” he yelped helplessly.

“What, about your little praise kink? I didn't, it was a very, _very_ lucky guess.”

“Lucky?! Albie, you literally just made a fully clothed man come in his pants. Your definition of ‘lucky’ is incredibly subjective!”

Albus removed Scorp’s hands from his face, kissing each of them gently before kissing him on the mouth. “Maybe. But that man is the love of my fucking life. I just made the man I love, the man I dream about, the man who, it turns out, loves me back . . . come in his pants. It's a good day, Scorp. A very good day.” 

“You must think I'm completely useless.”

“Hey, I do not,” Albus said, his smile suddenly faltering. “Oh God, I’m sorry, Scorp. I've made you panic, haven't I? Shit. Have I fucked up already?”

“I'm not panicking. I think it's pretty obvious _that_ was bloody fantastic,” Scorp said incredulously, gesturing to his crotch. “I'm just . . . nervous. I don't want you to be disappointed with me. I don't want you to  . . . regret me.”

Albus didn't know whether he was going to burst into tears or collapse with laughter. “Regret you? Oh Scorp, I could never . . . do you not _understand_ what just happened to me? I just watched the most beautiful man in the world come undone underneath me, and I got to feel how it feels to know that _I_ did that, that _I_ made him feel like that. And all of that is so wonderful but none of it compares to what I feel right here,” Albus lifted Scorp’s hand and placed it palm down over his chest. “I want to kiss you, and touch you and fuck you, but if I never got to do any of that it would be enough to just be with you and hold you and love you. I could never regret you, Scorp, it just doesn't work that way. The way I feel about you, it doesn't work that way.”

Albus lowered his face back to Scorp’s and placed a single chaste kiss at the corner of his mouth, before Scorp grabbed the back of his head and caught him in another searing, breathy clash of teeth and tongue.

“We’re alone here tonight. Would you . . . will you, will you take me to bed with you?” Scorp asked timidly.

“Really?” asked Albus, his voice shaking. 

“I want to be with you,” answered Scorp earnestly, grazing his thumb over Albus’ cheek.

“Then be with me,” said Albus, “but I will warn you that if you sleep like you usually do with your legs all over the place I may have to tie you up.”

Scorp rolled his eyes. He was still blushing furiously, but Albus was blown away by how courageous he looked, like he was fighting through his own lack of confidence to get to what he wanted. Albus didn’t think he’d ever felt more proud or overwhelmed by him.

 “I think I could use a shower.” said Scorp after a moment. 

“Hmm. Now there's a thought . . .” moaned Albus.

“No, that's your punishment for enjoying my humiliation. You can stay here and wait till I get back.”

“Killjoy,” said Albus, pretending to sulk as he rolled onto his back on the bed and Scorp got up.

“I won't be long, please promise me you won't disappear anywhere. I want you here when I get back,” ordered Scorp, leaning down to place a kiss on his lips.

“I’ll be right here, I promise,” Albus winked, exhaling deeply, closing his eyes with a contented smile.


	6. Scorpius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's topless Scorpius and a bed, and it's heating up! So fair warning for smut and off-the-scale fluff.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still not sure how many chapters there are going to be, but I've still got a few ideas knocking around my mind so I'm not sure I really want to end it here.
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has commented and given kudos, and a special mention to Mara who has been so generous with feedback and so encouraging to a nervous newbie - it's really driven me to keep going with this.

Scorpius’ heart melted at the scene that greeted him when he came back into the dormitory. 

Albus had fallen asleep, exactly where he’d left him. He thought again about how much had happened that day - it would be little wonder if Albus was feeling wrung out. Scorpius felt like it had been the longest, most wonderful day of his life, and he felt dizzy with love for Albus. 

_I'm going to take care of you,_  he thought. _I'm going to keep you safe._

He had just thrown on a pair of pyjama bottoms when he got out of the shower, but despite padding over to the bed barefoot and deliberately quietly, Albus began to stir, depthless green eyes opening and looking up at him tenderly.

“Well, in your defence, I told you to stay where you were, and you haven’t moved. I don’t think I _did_ ever say anything specific about remaining conscious,” murmured Scorpius as he smiled down at him. Albus’ dark hair, wild at the best of times, was messy from sleep, and the way he was looking up at him, his eyes raking his bare torso like he was seriously considering eating him alive, made Scorpius’ body tingle.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on, Scorp,” breathed Albus.

“Have I mentioned that I love you?” answered Scorpius, crawling onto the bed to lay on his side next to Albus.

“It has come up a few times today,” whispered Albus as he closed the space between them and captured Scorpius in a slow, sloppy kiss, “but feel free to bring it up whenever you like. I love you too. Can't remember a time when I didn’t,” he said, breaking away to run a thumb over Scorpius’ hairline, his ears, his lips, as if he were mapping him out with his hands.

“It’s been . . . quite a day,” sighed Scorpius. “How are you feeling? Are you OK?”

“I feel . . . ready for anything the world throws at me, actually,” said Albus dreamily. “I feel invincible,” he yawned, stretching his arms over his head. “But . . .”

“What? What is it?” asked Scorpius quickly.

Albus turned to him, looking suddenly serious.

“You're laying on my bed, wearing nothing but a pair of pyjama bottoms. Aaaand you've got an insanely mesmerising body, and it's very hard to resist you . . .”

“Good,” said Scorpius, grinning.

“Scorp, do you feel rushed? Because, you know, please don’t. I understand that this is new, for us both, and if I’m being too fast, too intense . . .”

“Touch me, Albie,” interrupted Scorpius.

“Are you sure?”

Scorpius lifted Albus’ palm to his lips, kissed it, then placed it over his heart. “Don’t you want to?”

“Oh God almighty, yes. Please, yes,” breathed Albus. A quick locking charm on the door set Scorpius’ mind at rest. He knew the dormitory was deserted and they would definitely be alone all night, but he was too exhausted to face explaining everything to anyone else because of an accidental interruption, and he guessed Albus would be too. Not tonight, anyway. 

Scorpius’ heart started to thump as Albus traced circles on the skin of his chest. “Is this . . . have you ever, has anyone ever?”

“No, never” said Scorpius. “I’ve never wanted anyone to . . . to touch me like this. Just you.”

“I thought maybe Polly or, or Rose . . .”

Scorpius closed his eyes, bracing himself. “It was to make you notice me, Albie,” he said suddenly, looking up at the ceiling as he spoke.

“What?”

“All the dating stuff. The girls. It was to make you notice me. Pathetic, isn't it? There was never anything between me and Polly. She wanted to. I kissed her a few times. But every time I couldn’t get you out of my head. As for Rose, well, I think she knows. That I’m in love with you. She put up with me pretending I wanted her. She’s really been a better friend than I deserved, it wasn’t fair, the way I treated her. But she’s no-one’s fool and I think she saw through it all. Nothing I did could burn the love out of me. I wanted you so badly. You never seemed to see any of it. I _so_ wanted to see some sign that you were jealous, possessive, a sign that maybe seeing me with someone else bothered you like seeing you disappear with a boy at a party killed me. But it never happened.” He went silent for a few seconds before turning his head to face Albus again. “Are you angry with me?”

Scorpius’ breath caught in his throat as he looked into Albus’ eyes. He looked wild with desire, his pupils blown. “You’re wearing too many clothes, Scorp,” he moaned.

“As you've pointed out, I'm literally only wearing pyjama bottoms, Albie.”

“Yeah. Take them off.”

“You do it,” demanded Scorpius, staring Albus down, tilting his chin up in challenge.

Albus' breathing sped up to a pant at Scorpius’ command, and the sound sent a twitch straight to Scorpius’ crotch. 

Albus ran his fingertips teasingly under the waistband of Scorpius’ pyjama bottoms, moving down the bed to press kisses to his stomach; lower, then lower, then lower. As he slipped the bottoms down, revealing Scorpius’ nakedness, he nipped at his hipbones with his teeth, soothing the bites with his tongue, licking at the redness rising on his pale skin. 

Scorpius realised with excitement that those bites would probably colour his skin for days, that it felt like Albus was marking him as _his,_ and it took him a moment to register that the obscene moans he could hear were coming from his own mouth. Scorpius lay on Albus’ bed completely naked, staggered by how unselfconscious he felt under Albus’ hungry gaze. 

“It did hurt me, Scorp. I'd imagine someone else making you feel good, touching you, and I'd want to scream at them that you were _mine._ I could never feel anything with anyone else,” Albus muttered through gritted teeth as he kissed Scorpius’ neck and chest, arms, legs, stomach. 

“I am yours. I've always been yours. No one else could make me feel like this,” groaned Scorpius. He felt like he was being driven half mad by want, by the need to get Albus as close to him as possible, to feel his skin against his own. “Albie, I want to see you, I need to feel you against me, please.”

Albus just nodded, resting on his knees as he pulled his t-shirt over his head and threw it aside. 

“Oh, Albie,” Scorpius giggled.

“What?! What's funny?!” Albus demanded, a blush warming his cheeks and a confused and hurt look on his face.

Scorpius was openly chuckling now, throwing his head back as he lay with Albus kneeling between his thighs. “Oh God you are so fucking hot it's just . . . I can't believe it.”

“What?!”

“Sorry. I think I might be a bit hysterical. Oh Albie, how am I ever supposed to get anything done from now on?” Scorpius laid the palm of his hand on Albus’ chest. Albus was shorter and slightly more stocky in build than Scorpius, his skin not quite tanned, but nowhere near as pale as Scorpius’ own. Scorpius traced the lines of Albus’ muscles with his fingertips, his mouth open, his tongue running over his lower lip.

“You're an utter dork, Scorpius Malfoy. You’ve seen me loads of times,” said Albus incredulously.

“I know. And I’ve always thought you were astonishing. But I feel like I can really _look_ now. I wish you could see yourself like I see you. I wish you could feel how much I love you,” said Scorpius as he began to fiddle, unsuccessfully, with Albus’ belt. 

“Let me do it,” said Albus after a while, turning around to undo the belt, removing his trousers and underwear before coming to lay back down on his side next to Scorpius.

Scorpius pulled him towards him so that they lay chest to chest, and let out a breath he didn't know he'd been holding. His eyes filled with tears as he took time to really _feel_ the press of their chests, the drumming of their heartbeats, their legs entwined, the hardness of their cocks pressed together. “This is happening, isn't it? This is real. We’re naked together and we love each other and this is real. We get to be happy.”

“Yeah,” said Albus weakly, nodding his head.

Scorpius pushed Albus onto his back gently, moving to sit between his open thighs. Albus obeyed every touch, watching silently. 

“Are you OK with this? Is it . . . OK? I need you to stop me if it’s wrong or it's not OK,” said Scorpius as he stared at Albus’ body greedily.

“It won’t be wrong. It’s you.”

Scorpius smiled as he laid himself between Albus’ thighs, their cocks pressed together, Albus bucking into the friction with a throaty moan. Scorpius lowered his lips to Albus’ neck, nipping and kissing his throat and placing gentle licks over his collarbone, moving down to swirl his tongue around Albus’ nipples, blowing gently. By the time Scorpius began to kiss down past Albus’ navel, he could feel him breathing raggedly, his whole body trembling.

The keening sound Albus made when Scorpius finally engulfed his cock with his mouth was more perfectly debauched than anything Scorpius had ever heard. He felt nervous; wanted desperately to get this right, to make Albus remember this moment for the rest of his life. He looked up at Albus while flicking his tongue over the head of his cock. 

“Is this OK? Tell me what you want, help me make you feel good, Albie,” said Scorpius earnestly before going back to taking Albus’ cock to the back of his throat, bringing his head back up and bobbing it up and down, licking the head gently but firmly while stroking at the base with his hand. 

“That's it, like that, like that. Your mouth is fantastic, Scorp, you are so good at this.”

Scorpius released Albus’ cock from his mouth with a wicked pop and locked up at him, panting. “Pull my hair, Albie,” he begged.

“Don't . . . don’t want to hurt you,” Albus managed to gasp.

“Pull my hair, please. Please Albie.”

Scorpius’ rhythm sped up as Albus grabbed a fistful of his white hair and began to thrust ever so slightly into his mouth. Scorpius let out a throaty moan of surprised delight as Albus’ thrusting began to deepen, always enough for him to feel it, but never quite enough to make him gag.

“Scorp, I'm close,” breathed Albus.

“Mmmm-hmm,” mumbled Scorpius, keeping his mouth wrapped around Albus and reaching to cup his balls with one hand while stroking him with the other.

“Scorp, Scorp you don't have to . . .” said Albus, giving Scorpius chance to move away.

“Want to, want to taste you, wanted to forever,” Scorpius said quickly before engulfing Albus’ cock again.

“Fuck Scorp, oh fuck, oh fuck!” Albus repeated as he came into the wet heat of Scorpius’ waiting mouth.

Scorpius moved back to lay next to Albus, watching him as his breathing began to steady. “Was that . . . was it OK?” he asked Albus timidly.

“Are you kidding? Oh my God Scorp it was perfect. You're perfect. You’re just perfect.”

Scorpius grinned and carded his fingers through Albus’ hair. 

“Praise, hair-pulling . . . I'm learning some very exciting things about you . . .” teased Albus with a devilish grin.

Scorpius blushed, turning his face into the pillow. “I'm a weirdo, aren't I?” he said, wincing.

“No way, not at all. Too mind-blowing to be real, maybe, but not a weirdo,” Albus leaned in and took Scorpius’ bottom lip between his teeth. “Can I . . . can I use my mouth on you?” he asked.

Scorpius swallowed thickly and nodded. As Albus kissed and licked his way down his body, Scorpius could feel a tell-tale heat pooling in his stomach. “Albie, I’m . . . probably not going to last that long,” he said, blushing. _God I'm so unimpressive_ he thought, tensing.

“I know, it’s OK. Relax. Don’t think too much, just let me . . .” Albus placed a kiss on the head of Scorpius’ cock. “Tell me if this feels OK,” said Albus, as he began to lick and suck, moving his hands to cup Scorpius’ arse, taking him deeper and deeper into his throat.

“My Albie. Oh God don't stop, please. Feels so fucking good,” cried Scorpius, fisting the bedclothes and throwing back his head, “Albie, I'm going to . . . I'm going to come, Albie, I'm coming, I’m, oh GOD . . .”

Scorpius looked down to watch as he came down Albus’ throat. Albus gently kissed his way back up his body, resting his head on Scorpius’ heaving chest. “That was . . . God Albie I'm still trembling,” he said with a breathless laugh.

“You look so lovely when you come. Like a . . . I dunno, like a painting or something.” Albus smiled broadly, bringing Scorpius’ wrist up to his mouth to kiss it. “Do you feel OK? Are you happy? I'm worried you feel rushed. Because, Scorp, there's no rush. I want . . . I want everything with you but I'll wait, you know that don't you?” Albus sounded panicked, his voice getting higher and more frantic as he spoke.

“I’m happy. Completely, unbelievably happy. And I wish you'd believe me, I don’t feel rushed. It all feels _right_ somehow, doesn’t it? When I kissed you it all just sort of fell into place, I didn’t think something so exciting and electric could feel so much like home,” said Scorpius, looking into Albus’ eyes. He looked nervous.

“Scorp, I’m going to ask you something and I want you to know that there’s no right answer - I’ve been thinking about what happens when we leave school. Worrying about it, really, about us not seeing each other as much as we do now. Well, I want to know whether you’d consider maybe moving in with me. Remember you can say no without any of this changing one bit, and you should say no, if it isn't what you want or makes you uncomfortable in any way. Just, consider it as an option, as one of your options . . .”

Scorpius had been watching Albus silently as he babbled, and when he stopped, he couldn't keep the grin from his face. “OK I’ll consider it,” he said, pausing for all of five seconds before adding, “OK I've considered it, and yes I want to do that,” he said, kissing Albus’ face as he chuckled in relief. “Of course I want to - and what the hell are you on about _one_ of my options? What the fuck do you think I'd choose over you?”

“People will think this is sudden,” warned Albus thoughtfully. “They'll think we’re young and stupid and naive. I think we need to be ready to take that much on the chin for a while.”

“I couldn’t care less what people think. And I mean that. And anyway, let’s think about this logically for a minute. It's really not that weird. We've been best friends for six years, and we've shared a dormitory for that long too. We know each other, we kind of already live together. It’s just not that strange that we would move in together after school,” reasoned Scorpius.

“Yeah. But things are different now, aren't they? I mean, well, it's not just us sharing space together is it? We’re not going to be flat mates. Unless you'd rather people thought that's all we are, I suppose . . .” said Albus, looking suddenly downcast. 

“Yeah, that's absolutely _not_ what I want. I want people to know about us. Look Albie, I know what I feel and there's no way around it, so if people want to be dicks about it they'll have to enjoy their moment and look stupid when we prove them wrong. I know that keeping it secret is an option, and I know that for some people it's the only way that's safe. But for me it would feel wrong. I can do it. If I have to. For you I’d do it. But it's only fair to tell you that it's not what I want.”

“So we're going to tell people then?” asked Albus, teary-eyed and smiling.

“I want to. I’m scared, you know that. I'm terrified. But I love you more than I'm scared. I'm ready. But if you're not ready, neither am I. It's about us, both of us.”

“I'm ready.” said Albus quickly.

“God I love you.”

“And I love you. Stay with me, Scorp.”

“That's the plan, Albie. That's how it works. You get to keep me and I get to keep you.”

As Scorpius drifted off to sleep in Albus’ arms, he knew that today was just the start. The start of beautiful kisses and of hard conversations and of acceptance and prejudice and everything in between. He turned his head to look at Albus and knew that as long as he was the reason he was fighting, he'd never stop.


	7. Albus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to leave our sweet boys happy. The fluff is coming, hold on to your teeth.

**Five Years Later**

Albus sat down on the edge of the sofa.

Then he got up again.

 _Tea._   _I’ll make some tea_. He walked towards the kitchen. Five minutes later, he stood in the kitchen, forgetting what he'd come in for.

 _God this is torture_ , he thought. He hadn't been this on edge in years. He felt like he was about to start climbing the walls.

He looked at the clock. Scorp should be home in about ten minutes. Albus had to get his fidgeting under control or he'd completely blow one of the most important moments of his life. 

The flat looked comfortable and welcoming, and Albus looked casual, but the effect was studied - Albus had deliberately planned it so that Scorp wouldn't be stressed or anxious. Scorp loved being at home, having a quiet dinner and relaxing. They'd lived here five years today, and they had been happier years than Albus would ever have dared to hope for. Scorp was always saying that it was his favourite place in the whole world. So it felt like the perfect place to ask The Question.

For what felt like the hundredth time, Albus pulled the little black box out of his jeans pocket. Flipping the lid, he looked again at the thin silver band, the two tiny emeralds looking out like green eyes. _Scorp loves green_ , he thought, reassuring himself. It was classy and understated - very Scorpius Malfoy - the words _I choose you_ engraved on the inside a nod to the same words that Scorp had said, the ones that made Albus realise he was in love with him years ago - _if I had to choose a companion to be at the return of eternal darkness with, I’d choose you._

The conversation with Scorp’s father had gone very well, not that Albus was especially surprised. Draco had been visibly relieved to see his son so happy when he and Albus had got together, even if he had thought they were rushing things a bit by moving in together straight after school. When Albus had gone to Malfoy Manor a week ago, he hadn’t been sure what Draco’s reaction to his plans would be, but he was fairly confident he would at least be kind. As it turned out, he seemed over the moon. Well, as over the moon as it was possible for brooding, taciturn Draco Malfoy to get. “You and my son have been together for five years, Albus. You’ve been inseparable for twelve. What's between you clearly isn't going away. Be with my son. Marry him. Make him happy,” he had said, and Albus had had to bite back his tears. Draco may have mellowed considerably, but not so much that he’d appreciate his son’s lover blubbing all over him. 

The truth was that even if Draco had hit the roof, it wouldn’t have changed Albus’ plans. But, even though it was a little stuffy and traditional, it made him feel better to know he had Scorp’s father’s blessing. And, after all, Malfoys had a high regard for tradition.

And so here he was, in the flat the two of them had shared for five years, dinner prepared, Scorp’s beloved Verdi playing quietly in the background, terrified out of his wits, pacing so much he was sure to start wearing the floor away any minute.

Right on time, Scorp appeared. Albus stood in the middle of the living room, suddenly rooted to the spot, staring at him.

“Um, everything OK?” asked Scorp, looking at Albus warily.

“Yeah! Yes! Yes of course, absolutely. Great! Yeah! Totally good,” said Albus over-loudly, wincing internally at his own lack of subtlety.

“Okaaaaay . . .” said Scorp slowly. “Dinner smells fantastic, Albie. I’m starving,” he said, kissing Albus attentively, gently. Five years hadn’t changed the way they kissed. They never pecked each other dismissively like other couples. It was still careful and meaningful and considered every time. 

Albus went into the kitchen, returning a moment later with two glasses of wine.

“It won't be too long now, will you sit with me for a bit?” asked Albus, his hand shaking as he passed a glass to Scorp.

“Um, yeah. Albie are you OK? You seem a bit, well, off. A bit weird.”

“I’m fine,” he said with a steadying breath, “but I do need to talk to you.”

“Are you breaking up with me?” asked Scorp suddenly. Albus’ head snapped up. Scorp looked frightened and frayed with worry.

“What?! No, God, no, Scorp, why . . . where the fuck did that come from?”

“You’ve been distracted lately. Quiet, like your mind has been somewhere else. And I know we get less time together these days with work. I just thought maybe you’d finally cottoned on that you can do better than me, that you’re out of my league . . .” Scorp chuckled bitterly, but was obviously relieved at Albus' reaction.

“Scorp-I-love-you-will-you-marry-me?” Albus blurted out. 

“I'm sorry, what?!”

“God how can I be making a mess of this, I planned it all to death," grimaced Albus, taking another deep breath to slow himself down. "Scorp, I love you. So much. You are the thing I love the most in the world, the thing I’m most proud of and most grateful for. I want you to be my husband. Will you marry me?” as Albus finished speaking he opened the little black box and put it on the coffee table in front of Scorp.

He looked up to see tears pooling in Scorp’s eyes. “I - oh, my - yes,” sniffed Scorp, his face crumpling into tears. “Yes. I want to marry you. I’ll marry the arse off you. Ha! You’re going to be my husband, Albie. Mine. My husband. No-one in the world is as lucky as me, no-one has ever been this happy. I’m going to be Albus Potter’s husband.”

“You’re going to marry me. Oh my God you’re going to marry me. I love you, I love you. Thank you, thank you,” said Albus, choking back his own tears.

“Thank you yourself!” said Scorp laughing, as Albus took the silver band from the box and handed it to Scorp.

“Read what's inside,” he said.

“ _I choose you_ ,” Scorp read aloud.

“That was it, do you remember me telling you? That was when I knew that you were the one for me, that I was in love with you, when we were in fourth year," Albus placed the ring reverently on Scorp’s ring finger, raising his hand to his mouth to kiss it. He pulled Scorp into his arms and kissed his face and his lips and his neck, enjoying the way he could still make his boyfriend’s heart thump with the smallest of touches. His fiancé’s heart. His husband’s, soon. He reluctantly pulled away when he heard Scorp’s stomach growling distractingly. 

“Honestly, you thought I was breaking up with you?! You truly are a dork, Scorp. Anyway. How about some dinner, swiftly followed by a first-rate blow job from your fiancé?” asked Albus with a grin, wiping away Scorp’s tears.

”You’re just full of superb proposals tonight aren’t you?” smiled Scorp, raising his eyebrows mischievously.

 


	8. Scorpius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> MaryBarbu left a lovely comment wishing there had been a “romantic but earth shattering love making session” - well, ask and ye shall receive! I do hope you enjoy this - it’s smutty, yes, but hopefully you’ll agree that it’s romantic, too. Thank you again for your lovely words of encouragement!

**Six Months Later**

Scorpius threw himself down heavily on the sofa with a deep sigh. The whole day had been stunning, and absolutely exhausting. He allowed his eyes to fall closed and felt Albus sit down next to him, taking his hand, touching the shiny new wedding band on his finger.

“Did you strain yourself when you carried me over the threshold, Mr Potter-Malfoy?” he mocked affectionately.

“No I did not - and don’t make fun of me. It’s romantic. Traditional,” said Scorpius testily, his eyes still closed and a contented smile lifting the corner of his mouth.

Albus kissed his cheek tenderly. “It was gorgeous. The whole day was gorgeous. _You’re_ gorgeous.”

Scorpius looked at him and smiled wistfully.

“What?” asked Albus, smiling back.

“Ah, nothing. I was just thinking about those few months after we got together. I was convinced you were going to change your mind about me. I spent so much of that time worrying. Now you’re my husband . . .”

“You never told me that,” Albus put in sadly.

“I didn’t want to seem too needy.”

“You can be as needy as you like. I don’t mind. If you need something, anything, I want to be the one to give it to you. For the rest of our lives. I was so proud of you today. I thought it wasn’t possible to be happier than I was the day you told me you loved me. But today . . . standing there at the Burrow telling everyone we care about how much I love you made me feel so proud I thought I was going to burst.” Albus’ eyes were shiny with unshed tears.

“You’re not annoyed with me for not wanting to go on honeymoon straight away?”

“Not in the slightest. I know this is where you’re happiest. There’ll be plenty of time for all that.”

“I wanted my first night with my husband to be spent in our home. I love it here. It’s, well, it’s _ours. Just_ ours, you know?”

“Yeah I know. And I’d move mountains to make you happy. Please never forget that. Ask me for anything, but please don’t ever ask me to live without you.”

Albus looked so emotional and earnest that it was all Scorpius could do to keep from bursting into tears of happiness himself.

“Are you tired?” Scorpius asked in a voice heavy with lust, starting to unbutton Albus’ shirt. They had opted for matching suits all in black for the wedding, with green roses in their buttonholes, a nod to their common Slytherin affiliation. Scorpius had worried for ages about what people would think of the grooms wearing black at a wedding, until Albus had eventually cracked and pointed out sternly that as it was Scorpius’ wedding day he could go dressed as a pirate if he wanted to and everyone else would just have to ‘suck it up’. It had driven him wild to see Albus defending him so loyally and angrily, and he had practically begged Albus to pound him into the mattress that night. The memory made his cock twitch in his perfectly tailored black trousers.

“Are you seducing me?” Albus growled.

“That depends. Do you _feel_ like you’re being seduced?”

“I’m about to let you take off all of my clothes so I think that counts, yes.”

Scorpius shifted to kneel on the floor at Albus’ feet, slowly removing his husband’s shoes and socks, slipping his jacket off gently and reverently. He came back to sit down next to Albus, who got up and did the same for him. It felt intimate; almost ceremonial.

“Bedroom. _Now_ ,” breathed Albus from his position on the floor, holding Scorpius’ hand as he got up, leading him out of the one room, down the hallway and into the other.

At the foot of their bed, Albus dropped to his knees again, loosening Scorpius’ belt and undoing his fly, freeing his cock. “Hmmm, so hard for me . . .” he mused teasingly, circling the head with the tip of his tongue before swallowing it down to the back of his throat.

“Fuck,” hissed Scorpius, running his fingers through Albus’ hair, looking down to watch his head bobbing sinfully. “Merlin, Albie, if you keep doing that this’ll be over before it’s started.”

Albus got back to his feet with a wry smile, wiping his mouth wantonly.

Scorpius undid the remaining buttons on Albus’ shirt, yanking it off and tossing it aside to reveal warm, glowing skin. Nearly six years of knowing Albus’ body inside and out hadn’t made it any less fascinating or appealing to Scorpius. He trailed his fingers over his chest and stomach, before undoing his belt and letting his trousers and underwear fall to the floor. Albus stepped out of them and made his way to the bed, laying on his back, completely bare, pulling Scorpius down to lay on top of him.

Scorpius kissed a trail down Albus’ body before taking his cock into his mouth, feeling Albus’ hands gripping his hair the way he knew Scorpius liked it, rough and grasping. Scorpius purred at the contact, and Albus whined pleasingly as he relished the vibration.

“Need to get you naked, Scorp,” he said, tugging Scorpius back up to unbutton his shirt. Scorpius shuffled out of his clothes until soon they lay naked together, Scorpius cradled between Albus’ thighs.

“Wands,” huffed Scorpius, moving to rummage in their pockets at the foot of the bed. Casting the necessary spells, he pressed kisses to the spot at Albus’ clavicle that he knew drove him crazy.

“What do you want, Albie? Tell me.”

“Make love to me, Scorp. I need you inside me, right now. I’m ready,” Albus whined.

Scorpius frowned. Albus was capable of being unusually mature and unflappable, which made his flashes of impatience and stubbornness when he was turned on all the more thrilling to Scorpius. But he knew he had to slow this down to avoid hurting him.

“Love, let me . . .” Scorpius pressed a finger into Albus, the lubrication spell of a moment ago helping to ease his body’s resistance. Albus bit down on his bottom lip, throwing his head back.

“Scorp, stop teasing and _fuck_ me. Please, God _please_ fuck me.”

Scorpius couldn’t help but giggle. “Albie my darling, be patient. I don’t want to hurt you. I couldn’t bear it if I hurt you. Let me open you up . . .”

Scorpius moved down Albus’ body, licking and sucking at his cock, slipping in two fingers, then three, grazing that spot inside him as he worshipped him with total abandon.

“Fuuuuuuck, sweet Merlin, Scorp, that’s amazing,” he cried out.

When he eventually coated his cock and slid into Albus, Scorpius summoned up all of his self-control, careful not to go too fast or too hard, at least at first. He whimpered as he felt Albus’ tight heat resisting him, then welcoming him in, holding them together.

“Your cock feels so good inside me, Scorp. So _big_ . . . I love how, _oh fuck_ , how full it makes me feel. Love the way it throbs when you come inside me. I love the way I can always feel your come inside me, _ah_ , leaking out of me when you pull out . . . feels so . . . _kinky_. I can’t get enough of your come . . .”

Through the haze of his pleasure Scorpius realised he knew that what Albus was saying was absolutely true, and not just the debauched ravings of a man being thoroughly fucked. He always seemed fascinated when Scorpius came, loved it inside him, but also taking a sort of pride in it when Scorpius pulled out and jerked off over his stomach and chest. He had even finished untouched on a few occasions just from making Scorpius come in his mouth. In the beginning, Scorpius had worried that Albus would find it disgusting, but he quickly learned that his come was a kink for Albus. He took Scorpius’ come, like his taste for praise and a little pain and his moments of insecurity and low self-esteem, just as he found it, with love and unquenchable desire and utter acceptance. The way Albus gave himself over to sex with him so completely had made Scorpius’ confidence blossom in the years they’d been together. And as for Albus’ skill at talking dirty . . .

“Merlin, Albie, so tight. Love having you like this, all spread out on your back under me and _begging_ for my cock.”

“Fuck me harder, Scorp. Make me _feel_ it. I want to be able to feel it for days.”

Scorpius deepened his thrusts, stroking Albus’ cock until his mouth fell open and his eyes rolled back in the familiar way that let Scorpius know he would soon be bucking his hips as he shot come all over his stomach.

“Oh Scorp I’m gonna come. Fuck yes, I’m fucking coming . . .”

The sight of Albus’ cock twitching through his orgasm, his body arching with spasms of pleasure, pushed Scorpius even closer to the edge. “So beautiful. My beautiful, beautiful husband. I’m going to come, Albie. Do you want me to come inside you?”

“Fill me, Scorp. I want to feel it.”

Scorpius ground out a string of broken sounds, touching his forehead to Albus’ as he came hard into his body. He collapsed onto Albus, feathering his face and shoulders with little kisses as he pulled out of him gently.

“Best. Wedding night. Ever,” gasped Albus, brushing Scorpius’ hair back from his face. “Fuck, I swear that still gets better every time.”

“Me too,” panted Scorpius. “God I love your filthy mouth. I love my husband. So much.”

“I love _my_ husband too. He’s a genius, and he’s totally _brilliant_ in bed.”

They lay slumped together weakly, their breathing gradually slowing down. Scorpius reached for his wand to cast a cleaning spell on them both before laying on his back, gathering Albus to him so that his head was resting on his chest.

“Do you remember the first time I did that to you?” asked Scorpius a few minutes later.

“What, the first time you shagged me senseless? Funnily enough, yes.” Albus rolled his eyes.

“I. . . I don’t think you know this but afterwards I went to the bathroom and . . . I _cried_.”

“What?! Why?!”

“I couldn’t believe someone so perfect could want me enough to let me do that to them. Feeling that close to you, loving you that much, it just overwhelmed me.” Scorpius kissed Albus’ temple, inhaling his scent. “Do you think you’ll get bored of me now that we’re married?”

Albus looked up directly into Scorpius’ eyes, a ferocious expression on his face.

“Scorpius. If we lived for a million years, at the end of them I would still want you. I would love you at the end of time. But I wish you’d stop trying to hide your feelings from me. I love them. They’re what makes you, well, _you_. They’re beautiful and I want you to share them all with me.”

“I am so, _so_ in love with you, Albie. Every day I look at you and I can’t believe my luck. I’m so glad I told you how I felt that day. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner.”

Albus reached for his wand to put out the lights before nuzzling back into position with his head resting on Scorpius’ chest, his thumb lightly caressing his jawline.

Scorpius was suddenly awash with a feeling of certainty and confidence. It was, he knew in his heart, the right time to ask the question that had been on his mind since Albus had proposed.

“Albie?”

“Yeah?”

“Will you have a baby with me?”

Scorpius could hear the smile on Albus’ face as he whispered back into the darkness.

“I thought you’d never ask.”

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still finding my way with fanfic, and this is my first Scorbus - please be kind!


End file.
